On why self-help literature is so frighteningly LAME: I mean, look at the way they’re talking to you, like you’re some sort of a mix of a baby and an alien – someone completely without any prior knowledge about life on Earth. The advice is so basic you’d think it was meant as a starting guide to life.

Think positive! Research shows that a balanced diet can help you achieve the life YOU want. Your new life starts today, just follow these simple steps to happiness! Read this and it will change your life!

It is very convincing! Oh, it’s compelling. Self-help guides make me feel like crying. Not only in the oh-my-god-so-lame kind of way. They make me want to cry because part of me would like to believe this bullshit. There is something adorable and slightly heartbreaking about someone telling you they’ve found the cure, that they’ve figured it all out. They followed five steps and wa-wa-boom have been happy ever since.

Someone once said happiness isn’t something you experience, it’s something you remember. That too is a sad way to experience it, and I don’t necessarily believe it’s entirely true, but there is something to it, right? At least it tells us something about the power of nostalgia.

So my suggestion is: Go get nostalgia back from the future and into the present!

Why not. The walk you took through the park today was just any walk through a park today, but in the future, when you’re old and looking back you’ll be like, fuck, that was the most beautiful park in the world and now I can’t move my legs. Fuck you future self, give that nostalgia back to present me, I want to see how awesome that stupid park is NOW. Leaves and stuff! Is there anything prettier than the sun filtering through thick green leaves? Or really green grass? I don’t think so, future self.

And yeah, I am talking to you too, present self.

Okay, red leaves too are pretty awesome: