It might sound strange, all the while they are giving me the most serious and often horrifying news, but I find listening to the BBC incredibly comforting. Their subtle, controlled British voices, the professional radio voice that contrary to what they are actually SAYING is also telling me that everything is under control.
We’ve got people on it, things are happening. Stay safe, humans.
“Wherever you are, you’re with the BBC”, they say, and as I wake up in different countries those voices do follow me, I switch on new radios I haven’t switched on before but they’re still there, they keep their promise with the same jingles and the same grave British calm, reassuring me that they’re with me.
Keep calm and carry on.
There’s something clean and crisp about the BBC, like clean sheet, a breeze, the promise of freshly brewed coffee. Go out there, it says, we’ve got stuff to do.
Hate them, hate them, love them, love them. I have spent years searching the US for the perfect, healthy cereal. Something gluten free, something with fruit and no syrup, something crunchy with pumpkin seeds or something. I have yet to find the perfect cereal. In the meantime, it does happen that I dive into one of these candy bombs dressed as cereal. Stuff that not only melts in your mouth, it melts already on your fingertips as you dig your hand into the box, as you’re eating it with your hands because it is so obviously candy, not cereal, but pretending to be cereal, something tired mothers agree to stuff their children with on early mornings without contact lenses before they feed the same children their daily dosage of ritalin because how else are these children supposed to be able to sit still for even a second, high on sugar as they are.
Possibly ruining the world, these cereals. Will just have a handful or two.
Blah! Had some terrible days! Wanting-to-stay-on-the-bathroom-floor kind of terrible. But there were sparkly sparkles in there somewhere. Like:
#14: Drawing. Little sketches. Just moving my hand around on a piece of paper makes me happy. It’s like with all movements and physical sensations from your childhood (unless you were molested or something else terrible); copying them now gives this giddy, safe feeling. A feeling of oatmeal and flannel and lamps shaped like rising moons.
#15: Meeting someone you think maybe you could be friends with. Then thinking about how to make that happen. How to ask someone out without asking them out exactly. How come it is so much more difficult to find a friend than a date? Exploring this question.
#16: Obscure amounts of sushi on a hot day. Then rolling over. Like a cat.
#17: Block parties. How nice is that? Neighbors sharing their bedbug infested clothing with each other, spoiled brats running over you on their various life threatening modes of transportation, old junk everywhere, tripping over children failing to write their names in chalk on the pavement. But really, it is quite nice.
all you need is what, did you say?
#11: I walked a dog today. It’s incredible how a dog allows humans to interact with each other. Also, the dog was very kind and leaned against me like we’d known each other forever. We passed some kittens on the street and she stared at them, completely mesmerized.
#12: Talenti Roman Raspberry sorbet. It’s like real raspberries only enhanced with rainbow sparkles and snowflakes from Narnia.
#13: A bottle of soap bubbles. It’s like 50 cents!
Like any psychology student chooses their field of study because they suspect they might be going mad, I am writing this blog because I am not especially happy. In my attempt to change that, I have exposed myself to many stupid programs and cures that mostly made me want to go shopping. Which is in itself a sign of unhappiness.
So I’ll find another way. I’ll collect what makes me happy, catalogue it, for future reference. A million things make me happy. I’ll write them down. I am already at Happy #5, so I’ll start there.
Some things that made me feel better today:
#6 The nice lady who works at the excellent vintage store Hooti Couture in Brooklyn. She’s got such a good vibe. Also the other girl I talked to in there, who asked my opinion on a giant ring because she thought I looked like I had a nice style. I love Americans for their ability to just strike up conversations and give compliments to strangers.
#7 The fact that I figured out how to get Technorati to pick up my fucking RSS feed. That only took about two weeks.
#8 Going to the gym. Nothing more to say about that. It just WORKS.
#9 The fact that there exists such a thing as a combined healthy wraps and custom frame store – Healthy Nibbles, also in Brooklyn. It’s a frame store. And a juice and wrap place. In one.
#1o One whiskey on the rocks.
#11 Jay-Z’s Young Forever.